There’d always be a time when you just find it hard to fill up on your parent’s expectation, even about job. I know my Mother simply just wanted to help getting me a better paid job than the current one I have now, but she’s ignorant with what I feel about it. Living in different town already made me cried occasionally because I have to endure not being able to spend holidays with family, and now the thought of going to Jakarta… I feel like being forced. Somehow I want to shout out how cruel life has been to me; my splitting parents, never ending debt we have yet to pay, my unfinished college year and all those hurtfull things caused by my Father. I should have enjoyed my life being an independent woman and worried about nothing, not like this. I don’t say that helping my mother paying debts is a burden, since it’s also my responsibility now, but Mom has been very insistent to ask me about the offered job in Jakarta. I’m not a tough survival, I barely do in here. What else does she expect actually?

I mean, I’ve been trying to help my parents with all my best! I have to endure not buying the cloths I’ve wanted for so long. I have to short my makeup budget. I even try to avoid buying off sale bags every time I do my shopping day. I always put family over my needs because I know how important it is to save my money for my mom. She just never get it; I just my efforts to get some respect, not being rubbed off with her telling about my cousin has brought seven million rupiahs of salary for her family or talking about me going to Jakarta. Oh, please Mom. Don’t you think I’ve had enough of these? Should I just rob the bank to get money so you can leave me to decide what I want to do with my life?

Honestly I will never have guts to tell my mom that, but it’s what I’ve always thought every time our phone conversations lead into things like those. My mom, is absolutely unbearable. Even in calm and bored voice. 😐

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